Estella mi vida mi nina mi amor

When I first met stella she became the part of my girl dog club when I volunteered at the hspca ..it was stella, mrs. bear, and dakota kota ..omg dakota was crazy these girls captured my heart by their docile personalities ...little by little estella started tugging at my heart more than the other dogs ... In her eyes I could see love and the need to love back ... Last week I was drained by thr fact that she was not with me without her home her bed her brother without her love ... Today as we celebrate her bday we give thanks for her heart and her unconditonal love she gives to each of us and even my friends ... She loves having company she receives everyone with a wag and a smile ... Thank u all for the bday wishes for my love ... Stella sends u all a sloppy kiss

I Did What?!

As I have matured with the years, I look back at the young naive girl I was during high school and the young woman I was right after high school. And I look back and laugh... I laugh at all the stuff I would believe and what I thought was real. Boy were always my weakness growing up... I believe too much and I said too much and I gave too much. As I remember all the crock they used to tell me and how I would trust their word with all my heart. I just want to go back and time and fight for myself to be respected. I want to take that girl and shake her and hold her and say this is not the truth is nothing but a piece of crock they are saying to see what you are willing to give. I've actually learned so much from those experience It has made me the woman I am today. I am no longer naive, I am no longer weak.. I now know that if I want respect I have to first respect myself and then demand others respect for me. I no longer believe the bs they say. I now play devils advocate. I want my children to learn from my mistakes but I dont know if I will shield them completely that way I would like. One person told me a long time a good... A smart person learns from their mistakes but an even smarter person learns from someone elses mistakes. Through all my mistakes I came out on the winning side... I am an independent woman...

Amazing How we Get Attached

Last night I realized how easily we get attached to someone, somedog or something. Yesterday Chacho and I were hurting We missed Stella so much. Chacho was so sad that he spent most of the evening in his kennel. If you know that little man well you will know that he thinks of that thing as the time out chair...but last night he walked to it lifted up his little paw open the door walked in and curled up. It was the saddest thing to see. He missed her so much. If you ever spend a day with us you will hear these three phrases about every 30 mins ... Chacho Gentle... Chacho Leave her alone... Chacho no! They have this game where they hunt each other they turn that apt into their running field.. Chacho some way or another always comes out to be the winner because if he doesnt and Stella wins he gets angry and growls ... I always say.. Chacho you sore loser. Chacho and Stella have been joined at the hip even if they are always play fighting. When I first got stella... chacho became a bit jealous like i guess every big brother would ... even to the point of getting on the bed right above where she was stretched out taking a nap and jumping on her stomach and also Chacho wanted to hump her all the time (this still goes on smh) she snapped at him once and he left her alone. So afterwards stella fell in love with her big tiny brother... She is the one who every morning wakes up chacho walks to her and she cleans the morning yikke off his eyes... she mothers him and he well indulges ... 3 mins later they begin the chases .... this is every morning.. They have not been apart for a long period of time... I think the longest time they have been apart has been one night when stella had to stay at the vet for her heartworm treatments(i'm telling you this kid has gone through alot) ...and chacho was beside himself... We still have 2 days in a half to go on this supposeded punishment and well lets see how we will hang... This morning chacho had to be left alone something he has not endure in a very long time .... It will be hard but we will get through this... even if its him in a kennel and me in my bed curled up wishing the days go by faster.

Stella My love

"She is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. She is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. She has told me a thousand times over that I am her reason for being; by the way she rests against my leg; by the way she thumps her tail at my smallest smile; by the way she shows her hurt when I leave without taking her. I think it makes her sick with worry when she is not along to care for me.When I am wrong, she is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, she clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, she is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, she ignores it. When I succeed, she brags. Without her, I am only another woman. With her, I am all-powerful. She is loyalty itself. She has taught me the meaning of devotion. With her, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. She has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant. Her head on my knee can heal my human hurts. Her presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. She has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever - in case I need her. And I expect I will - as I always have. She is just my dog."
- - Gene Hill

At the moment for those who don't know I am going through the hardest pains possible...having to unattached myself from one of my dogs for a few days... Estella... For those who know me... my dogs are my life ... they are the children that I did not birth... they are my everything ... my loves, my soul mates, my kids, my reasons to struggle for ... the reasons I wake up in the mornings to go to work... They hold my hearts and I hold theirs. Last week there was an incident where Estella accidently charged at one of my neighbors and scratched his leg. Which in turn he called the cops and the cop did a police report with animal control. I was notified yesterday that Stella is going to have to be quaratined for the next 3 days... these are going to the hardest three days for since she is my teddy bear ... Everyone that I have told have been like STELLA??? WHAT??? Because those that are close to me know my baby she is the sweetest most gentle dog ...she has been through so much abuse in her short 3 years of life but she still has the sweetest disposition... my head is pounding from crying so much... I feel so helpless everything is out of my control ... So tonite I will take her and release her to my vet ... she will be only walked twice a day... confineded to a kennel ... and get no love... which is the only thing she ever asks for ... someone to love her.... Writing this is my only release of this pain but it just gets the tears flowing .... ugh ... why must people be such punks? over a scratch really? ugh....

Does this look like a face of a criminal?

An instructor? Me?! Eek! maybe! .

Well I just finished signing myself up for instructor training class for Zumba.. I can't believe I did it.. this was such a big step for me because I have thought long and hard about this ...because I am...even if you don't believe it and laugh I am actually shy... yes... me I am ...stop laughing ... I have been doing zumba for almost 8 months now and it has become an obsession for me... a healthy obsession... at the moment I am only going to classes on saturdays and sundays because of school but when I am out I go about 5 to 6 times a week... I know... I have no life lol... But zumba has been good to me... I have completely changed my life... starting with the fact that I am consistently going to the gym... I have not missed a week.. I eat better because if I dont I completely feel it when i am dancing... and It has brought something back into my life I had left behind ...DANCE... I have danced since I was a little girl.. tap..ballet... mexican folkoric dancing... you name it I did it... I was a very active dancer when I was growing up... I never had a free weekend because I was doing something... thanks to my mom... But as I grew up and started working and going to school part time.. I didnt have time to add dance to my schedule but zumba has helped me find that lost love. So let see where this new training takes me... I love zumba but its not the same as going to class and watching an instructor then ..going up to the front of the class ..and ...gasp....teaching the class. Its still a while before that even happens but I just took a small step in that direction... I'll keep you posted... ;)